August 2011, my adorable, intelligent, intuitive, playful and best friend, Shadow, died. The loss of my invaluable adopted “son” was an agonizing loss for my family and me. A loss that hit me to the very core of my heart and soul. Shadow’s untimely death has left a massive void in our lives. Jazz, my other adopted “son” looked upon Shadow as his mentor, best friend, his leader and the one he leaned on in addition to me. Jazz’s previous life consisted of living in a hoarder’s home surrounded by at least 15 other dogs also existing in deplorable conditions. Jazz is lively, lovable, animated, smart, adorable and one who needs to constantly snuggle against someone. In my estimation, Jazz’s need to be next to someone at all times stems from his upbringing with dogs around him all of the time for the first few years of his life.
When we adopted Jazz, he and Shadow acted like long-lost brothers and their instantaneous bond never wavered and a dominance issued never transpired which is surprising having two male dogs. They were a perfect match. Jazz not only followed Shadow but learned everything he knows from his “brother.” His previous home only taught him to fight for attention and to hide snacks we gave him. When you live in an animal hoarder’s home, it is not physically possible to give the proper attention to each dog, let alone teaching them proper manners and social skills. Jazz was a quick learner because he had the best teacher-Shadow- and of course, us.
So here we are over a year later and we are adjusting to life without our beloved Shadow. For anyone who loves a pet as deeply as we love Shadow, you understand the depth of our pain. For me, it was especially difficult because my father had died only months earlier. Then, my husband had to have an extremely serious operation for a very serious condition which was diagnosed only days after my father’s funeral.
Shadow’s death exacerbated my grieving to to a level that I hadn’t experienced since my sister’s untimely death in 2002. Even though I experienced the dire situations with my dad and husband, my anguish and mourning over losing Shadow would still have been just as significant.
After Shadow died from congestive failure, Jazz was so despondent that food didn’t appeal to him, thus, he barely ate. I contacted our veternarian who told me we had to keep an eye on him before his behavior would spiral out of control. In a few weeks, Jazz began to eat. During the midst of our grieving, Jazz was diagnosed with oral melanoma a couple of months after Shadow’s death which forced us to place our grieving on hold. I couldn’t bear to lose two dogs so close together. After a year of surgery, radiation, the melanoma vaccine, regular chest x-rays and check-ups, Jazz is doing great!
Somehow we are managing through our trials and tribulations. During our mourning process, Jazz began to sleep alongside our ringneck bird, Tweety, while she was in her cage located beside our sofa. Since Tweety’s untimely and sudden death a few weeks ago, Jazz is, once again, so sullen. He refuses to lay on the side of the sofa where Tweety’s cage once stood.
So there lies my question: when is it the right time to adopt a new pet? I haven’t been ready nor willing to adopt a new pet. I’ve never intentionally seeked out a pet. They’ve always seemed to have found me. I’m still enduring the mourning process over Shadow. Because of our circumstances, we haven’t had the opportunity to fully grieve for Shadow. Shadow was a huge part of my life. He was my best friend, confidant and soul mate. The morning of his death, I had been working out to the music of Lady Gaga’s, “The Edge of Glory”, with Shadow near me the entire time as he always did. I can’t listen to that song without breaking into tears. It was the last time we had fun together. When I was done with that workout with that song, Shadow went into upper respiratory distress and ultimately he had to be euthanized. So you see, my grief is quite strong.
I know it has been over a year since Shadow died but now I’m also mourning the loss of Tweety. Say what you want but I loved that little bird. She had quite the personality.
I tell people that they will know when the time is right to adopt a pet. I guess my dilemma is how Jazz feels. He’s lonely. From a hoarder’s house, to his best friend, Shadow, and to Tweety, Jazz is now, for the first time in his life, the only dog in a home. I feel negligent by not having another dog to be his best friend. We have two doves but he’s not close to them.
Adopting a pet isn’t a decision in which to rush and obviously, I never have. I’ve been given pets by those who were moving, those who couldn’t keep them, “taken in” by a dog while doing camera work for a tv station or watched as they found me at a shelters. Not once have I purposely looked for a pet.
My husband and I have begun to actively talk about this subject. We’re treading lightly. We take the responsibility of having another pet very seriously. We have Jazz’s cancer expenses to keep in mind. Plus, we can’t forget that Jazz’s cancer can easily return. Being with and going through Jazz’s treatments took alot out of me. Having another dog, let alone a dog with any type of illness, can be a costly endeavor. Plus, dogs are completely dependent upon you and we give our all to each and every pet. No matter what problems would arise with a pet we would adopt, that pet NEVER returns to the shelter.
What would you do? I feel for Jazz but we’re also realistic. What is right for you may not be right for me but I’m curious how others deal with this dilemma.
When is the right time to adopt another pet? You tell me.